Good Bye MJ - you will be missed!

I struggled about putting up a post about the King of Pop. But after watching snippets of the memorial this week, I am overwhelmed with nostaligia and frustrated at the media coverage of the passing of this music legend.

My husband and I grew up listening to BAD and the news of the death of Michael Jackson on June 25th, 2009 brought up a feeling of immense sadness. When we heard the news, that evening, Father Bear and I , began crooning to the Man in the Mirrror much to Little Bear's amusement. Little Bear, I hope you will enjoy his songs and like your parents did try to mimic the moonwalk.

The questions that emerged after his death about his personal life are both sad and unnecessary. Let's celebrate the best part of his life, his biggest contribution to the world - his music.

In this bear household the biggest questions revolve around death. Why do people die? Is it only old people? Amma- I don't want you to die and the biggest one - Amma - I don't want to die.
How do you explain death to a 3 year old, I asked my mom. Her recommendation was to use the power of distraction and evade the question. He's too young to grasp the concept she said. That's the Indian way, I retorted. I want to be able to offer an explanation which is not based on any religious beliefs. Still looking for an answer but until I find it I'll have to go with my mom's way.

About ants, snails and earthworms....

Its Spring here in Hotlanta and with temperatures in the eighties and quite a few wet days, there have been a lot of outdoor creatures on the yard, the deck and some venturing right into our house.

This spring Little Bear is spending a lot of time outdoors and has emerged into this bold and curious little boy who loves nature but much to our chagrin has a a nasty habit of 'crushing down' ants, snails and earthworms.

But why? I ask him everytime he proudly proclaims that he stamped a fire ant. "Oh! because it may bite me" is his response. Yesterday, when I picked him from school he said ..."Amma! I crushed up a snail shell..Buts its ok, the snail was not in the shell." A quick zoology lesson followed where I explained that a snail always carries its shell around with it because it is like its house. "But Amma, I'm sure the snail was not in the shell when I crushed it into pieces"

Later that evening after a fresh downpour, we went outside to see earthworms. I thought this would be a great opportunity to teach him to respect other living things and let them be. We got on our hands and knees to see the earthworms lazily crawl around. When one of them came too close to him, he threatened to stamp it. Frustrated I tried to explain with another angle - this earthworm is going back to its mother and we must let it do that, I said. He gave me a quizzical look and said -"No, this earthworm does not have a mother. Its independent" Not sure if he says that because he knows so or just because he wants to have a counter-argument about everything I say ..

Needless to say, in the coming weeks we hope to try our best to teach him the valuable lesson of respecting all other living things.

I would ....

I keep this handy and refer to it very often ...Beautiful lines and words to live by for every parent...

If I had my child to raise over again
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I'd model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.

Diane Loomans

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

I found this poem recently and love the inspiring words:

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang up my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I LOOKED....and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

...Author Unknown